Explosive Humor

Disclaimer: I love my kids. I may possibly think they’re funnier than they actually are. Maybe not. You be the judge.

I do know this. Say what you will about infancy—and we had some magic moments—THIS is why I became a parent. Moments like this are my paycheck.

The other night at dinner, we were discussing one of the kids’ enduring fascinations, volcanoes. Unfortunately, Little A. still gets a few initial consonant sounds mixed up, so he was discussing “bolcanoes.”

Cut to scene.

S.: (seven-years-old, knows everything): “It’s not a BALL-cano; it’s a VOL-cano. I mean, if it were a ball-cano, it would shoot lots of different kinds of balls into the sky, and big piles of balls would slide down the side of the mountain…”

Little A. giggles.

“…and then the balls would scoop people up and slide them down the mountain and into a giant ball pit.”

Little A belly laughs.

Little A.: “Or a fall-cano!”

S: “Yeah, it could suck you in, so you go up the mountain and just fall in…”

Little A. (demonstrating with his hands): “Yeah, you could go <makes moving noise> up the mountain and then <makes crashing noise>.”

S. (remembering other family obsession): “It would be like a black hole!”

Mom: “Or it could just spray colorful fall leaves.”

Crickets. Mom’s not funny.

S: “What about a call-cano? It would be full of people going, ‘Hell-o-o-o-o! Hell-o-o-!’”

Dad: “And phones ringing.”

Everyone makes various phone ring noises. We’re all laughing our heads off by now.

S: “It could be a mall-cano, and be full of shoppers and clothes and pretzels…”

Dad: “Don’t forget cell phones and Starbucks!”

Kids giggle.

S.: “Or what if it was a Saul-cano? It would shoot Bible stories all over the place!”

Mom: (unable to resist) “But if a really bright light hit it, it would be a Paul-cano!”

S. giggles. Dad rolls eyes.

Then we all took a break to eat some more homemade pasta. Yep, I really wrote this whole post as an excuse to post a picture of our homemade spaghetti. After years of pasta failure, we got some right!