The End of the Internet

Little A. truly earned his white belt in tae kwon do today. He worked hard, waited patiently, did as his instructors asked, got nervous and broke that board anyway. I could not be more proud of him.

And, after we went over his new TKD book and read about how he’s supposed to behave at home, he answered, “Yes, ma’am” or “yes, Mommy” to EVERYTHING I asked him. I am truly in awe of the miracle of martial arts. It works, people.

In honor of Little A.’s big accomplishment, I’m posting about another of the things I love about him.

With Little A., I’m a good mom for having my cell phone at the ready while I eat lunch with him. I literally cannot answer all his questions. So recent searches on my phone include “do gas giants have north and south poles” and “can tarantulas kill humans” and “do tumbleweeds have roots” and “image t-rex making bed.”

Okay, so that last one was just for fun. But he loved it.

Today, the scene began as I was still preparing food. So picture me microwaving, cutting off crusts, slicing apples, and generally staying busy during all this—unable to reach my phone full of facts.

“What animals have the best sense of smell, Mommy?”

(Frantically recalling recent conversations) “Umm, vultures, sharks, hyenas, dogs…”

“And t-rexes!”

“Okay, yep. I just didn’t list them because they’re extinct.”

“But they had to smell to find food.”

“Yep, all those animals do.”

“Vultures don’t need to catch food—they eat dead things.”

“True, but they have to smell them from far away to find them.”

“Can vultures smell dead things here from Africa?”

“Not quite that far.”

“Do vultures live in the desert?”

(Dredging up memories of vulture-in-desert photos) “Yes, they live just about everywhere.”

At this point, I babble on about what it means to adapt to different environments.

“Oh. So, can vultures adapt to anything?”

“Almost anything.”

At this point we somehow moved from the various permutations of growing fur to…

“Can mommy dogs only have puppies if they have a daddy dog friend or can they do it themselves?”

Yeah, um, son? I don’t care what I can Google on my phone, we’re not discussing either canine intercourse or parthenogenesis right now.

There is a limit to what the internet can do for you. We have reached the end of the internet.