The Worst (ish) of the Best

This little blog is about to reach 3,000 hits, so I thought I’d post a tribute to the man who makes it all possible, Big A. Without him, none of this could happen. I love writing. I love that you all read it. I love that he supports me in that. All you need is love.

And to emulate Ben Affleck, I’m going to keep it negative. I hope you caught that—I mean the sarcasm DRIPPING from that comment. Holy crow. If my husband said that to me in front of millions of people, I’d melt. I melt enough when he says nice stuff at home. And he does. He’s a good guy. That’s why I can rag on him here!

Without further ado…

The Worst (In a Trivial Sense) Ten Things My Husband Says:

10. (Comes home from work; sits on sofa.) Would you mind doing that? I’m just beat.

9. (In a restaurant, kids begging for fruit punch AND ice cream as well as chicken fingers and fries.) Why not?

8. Can we skip picking up the toys on his floor tonight?

7. (I’m working; he’s napping. The kids go Poltergeist; I rush in.) Sorry—I didn’t hear them.

6. (I find an eighth-inch crust of food in the pans in the drain.) But I washed that!

5. (Five minutes after I put the kids into bed and mention that it’s been a hell of a day.) You just need to have a little patience with them, you know?

4. (Christmas, birthday, mother’s day) I thought of the best gift to give you, but I just couldn’t find it.

3. (Holding large, irregular, unclosed box of his junk.) Where do you think I can put this?

2. I have never been this sick in my life. You have no idea how this feels. (Clearly, whatever I’m getting over is a different bug.)

1. (He vanishes after dinner, then returns twenty minutes later.) Oh. You did the dishes? I was going to do that.

Thank you all for reading!