Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Up/Down or Around&Round

I've always loved the Grandma quote from the movie Parenthood. You know, the old school Parenthood and the time when Grandma talks about how she liked the roller coaster better than the merry-go-round. This one.

As the more optimistic of the two people in our marriage--you may all feel free to laugh; it won't hurt my feelings--I've always considered myself a true roller coaster fan. (Interestingly, I DO love actual roller coaster rides. Big A. does not. It's true.) I've been a bit superior about that, in fact, and you know what that gets you...

Life has undoubtedly had some majorly roller coaster-esque moments for us lately. In fact, it's been hard to write anything here with some pretty big-ticket concerns floating through my head 24/7. Amazingly, the last two weeks have been utterly...transforming? relieving? joyous? full of gratitude and giddy disbelief?

Miraculous might not be too strong a word!

So now that we're on the downhill? uphill?--I don't know, which one's better?--slope, I'm thinking hard about that roller coaster and that little old merry-go-round.

Add to that the fact that I'm starting to transform from a stay-at-home parent to a drive-everywhere-parent. Lately I've noticed that I can put as much as 60 miles on my car in a day...without going more than five miles from home!

I must be going in circles.

And yes, I know all the life-organizing, fuel-efficient, advice column wisdom about consolidating errands and driving the most effective route. Thank you. That's not the point.

I'm trying to say that the little old merry-go-round looks beautiful to me right now. I love the painted horses, with their ribbons and their roses--even the ones with the strong, manly colors. I love the mirrors and lights, the bouncy music, and the really cool mechanisms overhead--the ones that move the horses. I even love the stationary swan cart with benches, the one where grandmas tend to sit, guarding giant diaper bags.

Why do I love this ? Because I'm here with everyone I love and I have a chance to look at them, to watch them laughing, to blow them kisses.

I'm not too frightened, too scared, too sick, too excited, or too thrilled to wait for Little A. articulate a complex, beautiful thought or for S. to tell me an endless story about shenanigans on the bus. I can look Big A. in the eye rather than just clenching his hand as we scream on our way down.

I still agree with Grandma. I still plan to enjoy every minute of that roller coaster ride. I'm just taking time to enjoy the merry-go-round right now.

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