Sunday, January 29, 2012

Weekend Superlatives

Best Tour Guide: Big A., hands down. He has that place WIRED!

Best “Awww!” Moment: Spontaneous sibling hug in line for lunch at Pecos Bill’s.

Best BAD Analogy: Big A., for comparing squeezing his legs into the teacup ride to giving birth.

Best Sheer Entertainment: La Nouba. It rocks!

Best Alternate Use of a T-shirt: Curvaceous lady wearing child’s t-shirt that says “Judge me by my SIZE, do you?” (Emphasis added by word’s position on said curvaceous lady.)

Best Place to Spot Parents Napping: The Tiki Room (Spaceship Earth comes in second).

Best Way to Kill Flirtatious Banter: “Are you blushing? Wow—that reminds me of when you were young!”

Best Facial Expression: Big A. for his face when, after weeks of telling me they don’t do cots at Pop Century, after weeks of insisting we could only get a Pack-N-Play, after two nights of NOT SLEEPING AT ALL, he spotted housekeeping taking a cot out of another room--priceless.

Best Inadvertent Branding: Little A. now believes that Disney World alone has magical Disney toilets—you know, the ones that flush when you get up.

Best Stereotypical Sex Noises: People in Room 1310. Yes, we were in 1312.

Best Restaurant Birthday Cakes: The Mouse House. WDW makes the cake!

Best Random Style Reporter Imitation: (and no, we don’t watch any of that) Little A., for “Ducks out; Ice cream in!” as we did, in fact, stop looking at ducks to go search for ice cream.

Best Ride: I love Test Track!

Best Revised Song Lyrics: S., for “Happy Birthday to you, You’re twenty times two, Happy Birthday, dear Daddy, And we love you, too.”

Best Thing About This Trip: The kids are young enough to love everything and old enough that we had no stroller, no diapers, no accidents, no changes of clothes, and they ate and slept as needed (mostly).

Even Better Than the Best Thing: Family fun celebrating one of the greatest guys I know!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Running Through My Mind

Some of the five of you reading may know that it's been a busy few weeks here. I more or less always have a soundtrack of quirky quotations and songs playing in my mind, and lately they seem very apt. So here you go, a peek inside my mind. (Be not afraid. I come in peace.)

Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped.
—Prince Humperdinck, The Princess Bride

Why do we hurtle ourselves through every inch of time and space
I must say around some corner I can sense a resting place
With every lesson learned a line upon your beautiful face
We'll amuse ourselves one day with these memories we'll trace
—“Get Out the Map” by Indigo Girls

And, in quieter moments…

The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I dive into the water
(I try to bring my share)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able
--“World On Fire” by Sarah McLachlan

But, most importantly,

Every baby deserves a healthy start!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

12 Hours of Random, 8am to 8pm

Morning random
While discussing Toy Story 3, it became clear that the children do not get the Fisher Price phone.

   A: All the toys in the movie talk.

   S: But not the phone--he doesn't talk. He makes his voice come out of the other part.

   Me: Well, that IS how he talks. He's a phone. [Blank stares. I age visibly in 1.2 seconds.] That's the way phones used to be. You talked into the bottom of the other part, and heard someone out of the top. But you had to be attached by the cord. [More blank stares.] The phone had to be plugged into a wire in the wall. You couldn't walk around.

    S: [Eyes light up.] Oh! That's why they had those phones in boxes on the side of stores and stuff.

   Me: Yes. That's why they had payphones. [Mutters unintelligibly about spending childhood talking to people who remember not having electricity and NEVER thinking she'd be the one explaining sh*t like that....]

Random acts of kindness
I'm pretty proud of myself for getting through this monumental day, and for letting my awesome friends help me out. So Thank You! to the sweet friend who delivered her donation to my door, and to the sweet friends who got it where it needed to go. And to the sweet folks who got me the gift I needed, and to--yes, I'll say it--thank you to McD's. We sure appreciated that!

Evening Random
Picking S. up from church, we learn that the lessons taught there do have an effect.
   S: Tonight, we had to make a list of good choices and bad choices. I put telling the truth for a good choice and telling lies for a bad choice.

  Me: [Pleased, but a little on autopilot.] That's great, sweetie. I'm glad you put that first. You know, if you tell the truth, we can fix anything.

  S: [Clearly impatient.] Yeah, so, Mom? One time, when Daddy was here and you weren't, I didn't eat my sandwich and I hid it in my room.

   Me: Oh. Well, that wasn't so great. What did you do with it?

   S: What do you mean?

  Me: What happened to the sandwich?

  S: It's moldy bread.

  Me: It's still there????

  S: Yes.

  Me: When did this happen?

  S: Kindergarten.

But give me credit--we all burst into giggles at that point. What else can you do? And, yes, the TWO-YEAR-OLD sandwich is now in the can at the curb, thank you very much.

Monday, January 23, 2012

And Now We Are Seven

First of all, let's just say that, for a seven-year-old, S. can be very philosophical. She loves the Narnia books and deep conversations. She also can run roughshod over her brother, her friends and anyone less strong-willed. 

So the object of this conversation, begun at a quiet, casual moment, is to gently re-introduce the idea that other people have feelings, too--feelings that might be different than hers, but equally valid. I expected her to have an egocentric world view, but this conversation was so textbook age-appropriate....

Mom: Why do you think you're here, S.? Why were you born? Why are you alive?

S: Because God wanted someone like me around.

Mom: Why am I on this earth?

S: To take care of me.

Mom: Why is your brother here?

S: Because God wanted me to have a brother.

Mom: Why are your friends here?

S. Because God wanted us to be friends.

Mom: Hmmm. Do you notice anything about your answers? What is the same about all of them?

S: They're all about what God wants?

We got there eventually--I saw the deep thoughts forming!

Friday, January 20, 2012

Recipe for Morning Adrenalin

Experience Level: Best prepared by highly experienced parent with a morning routine timed to the second—a parent, who is also, therefore, generally worn down

Preparation Time: Advance preparation can take eight to ten years, but last-minute preparation takes mere minutes

In advance:
  • You  must have children and a pet, fully equipped for mayhem
  • Send other parent on business trip
  • Make sure parent at home is sleep deprived
  • Have house in total disarray thanks to mold remediation
  • Turn on enormous air scrubber that drowns all sound
  • Close bedroom door to sleep
Immediately before serving:
  • Oversleep by half an hour (you will know it is done when the air noise masks the alarm, but not the fighting kids)
  • At this point, dressing must be accomplished quickly
  • When dog is whining to go out, but cannot be heard over air scrubber,
  • Open bedroom door; trip over dog
  • Turn on computer for light (light switch will be behind mold barrier)
  • Quickly assemble: leash, jacket, shoes, then add poop bags

You will know you are finished when you spot an eight-inch-long, dark, bumpy object on the living room rug.

That’s all it takes--enjoy your morning shot of adrenalin!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

I Spy

The view from my home car office.

I spy a calendar, a cup of tea,
And a to-do list just for me
Box Tops to mail, a form for new ones,
Folders to manage stuff by the tons.
A tiny purse that I think looks cute.
Why not? Nothing will hold all this shoot.
A Brownie sash for S.?
Nope. It’s lost, but not in this mess!
T-shirts to share, a few posters to place,
And wipes, of course—just in case!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Roller Coaster

TYPE to-do list; feeling infallible today—huzzah!
Send hubby off to jury duty—boo. hiss.
Great booths at the Girl Scout booth lottery—huzzah!
Field fundraising phone calls—getting it done!
Resolve that thing that’s been bugging me—boo.hiss--> huzzah!
Take a deep breath
Send mom to the bank again (fingers crossed)—wait for it, wait for it...
Call contractor (toes crossed, too)—wait for it, wait for it…
Lunch celebrating hubby’s release from jury duty—huzzah!
Take contractor’s call; they start tomorrow—huzzah!
Must empty pantry tonight—boo. hiss.
Answer emails—getting it done!
And then I'll sit down
Work—fun/hard/funny/hard…ack. Gotta go!
Carline and craft materials hand off—check!
Got client’s beautiful book in the mail—huzzah!
Cranky kids—boo.hiss.
And then I'll sit down play trains with little A.
S. piano lesson (went great)—huzzah!
Answer phone calls and handle randomness—         [speechless]
Fun dinner—huzzah!
Non-confrontational bedtime—huzzah!
Emptying pantry….ugh.
8:40 Leave it to A. and go to work—huzzah! ugh. accounting.
Sit down—huzzah! Do math—boo.hiss.
Wake up when husband rescues laptop sliding toward lapside….