Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Take It Easy

This is the first of three posts I’ve written recently about my depression. I had filed them away, never to see the light of day, but to heck with that. I’m writing about this now; it’s my truth and that’s okay on my blog.

And, because I know that reading other bloggers’ honest accounts of their struggles helps me, I hope it helps someone someday.

Just like an oil change or a visit to the dentist, it comes around again. Yep, today is the day when I remind you to take it easy on each other.

Why did I think about that today? I read an article about how screens are ruining our lives. Our family is pretty good about most of the stuff in the article. My kids play (the old-fashioned kind) more than they watch, we avoid technology at the table, and we adults rarely ask them to wait for a screen—maybe occasionally for a phone call. So that’s good.

Of course, Louis C.K. beat us all to that point:

He’s always hysterical and insightful. I take to heart his point about kids needing time alone with themselves. I believe that. I just never thought of applying his point to me until…

The recent article also pointed out that constantly checking in with screens doesn’t give adults rest. That made me realize that I’d been checking in often enough that I usually find no new emails or posts—in other words, more frequently than I need to. Hmmm. The expert went on to say that we hide from our feelings by staying busy with screens. Hmmmm.

So I decided to run my morning errands without checking in. Half an hour later I got home in tears. Well, shoot.

So this is why I’m asking you to be kind to each other. I’m a parent. I struggle with depression. As a parent, I don’t always have time to even realize I’m struggling. A lot of signs have been whacking me over the head lately, though, even managing to penetrate the busy-ness of modern life.

And here’s why I’m issuing a blanket Take It Easy statement.

Note: I wanted a very neutral, spontaneous, unedited picture here. I may have gone a bit far with that.
See the picture? Is that me on a day when I have it pretty much together or me on a day when I’m likely to burst into tears if I stop for a second? Can you tell? Nope? It can’t be done.

The last year has brought me many intangible, indescribable challenges. I could tell you if my car broke down or if my HVAC needed replacing; I DID blog about tearing up half our house, once due to black mold and once by choice. I could tell people about a medical diagnosis that changed my life, like being hypothyroid. Those tangible things affect people’s lives in a way we can comprehend.

Other things just defy easy communication. I don’t even know how to begin to describe them here—I could write for days and still not touch the heart of it. I’ve had a year full of those.

It doesn’t matter.

That’s the real point. It doesn’t matter exactly what makes me feel overwhelmed. It matters that we respect each other. It matters that we remember all those wonderful, true maxims: everyone has a story, judge not lest ye be judged, everyone’s doing the best they can with what they have, don’t judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes…

But maybe The Eagles said it best, “Take it easy.”

1 comment: