Thursday, January 22, 2015

Not Before Coffee

Given that I’m often sleep-deprived and stressed out, plus I do a monster marathon of chores from 6:00-7:30 in the morning, I’m a pretty easy target for kiddie brain-stoppers. You know, like gob stoppers for your thought process. They nearly killed me the other morning!

Little A kicked it off….

“Mommy, what’s a doofus?” Pause. “Is it like a midnight snack?”

So, after, I got my mind rebooted—definitely Ctrl+Alt+Esc on that one!—we figured out that he had it confused with a term his sister and cousin coined, which would be “dinfest.” Dinfest is a combo of dinner and breakfast, eaten in the middle of the night.

Oh. Don’t I feel silly.

Actually, no, I’m just lucky to still be thinking at all. He ran off to spend ten minutes finding his socks. Then S. started the dreaded guessing game.

“Mom, guess what we’re doing in PE today?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. Why don’t you tell me?”

“Can you please guess?”


“No!” (As in, duh, mom.)

“I’d like to hear. Just tell me.”

“Okay, we’re doing fitness testing.” She sounds excited.

“That’s great, sweetie.”

“Guess what I hope we’re doing today?”

She must have seen it—and I mean the “I have had IT!” look—on my face, because she moved on.

“I hope we get to do pull-ups today!”

And a little voice in my mind chirped, “Said no one, ever!” And it rim-shotted. I swear. [For the record, she went on to do the most pull-ups of anyone in her class—seven.]

Then they collaborated.

S. started again, “Guess what?”

I glared sizzling holes into her brain. She kept going, “The new Minecraft update lets you spawn baby animals in water and they won’t sink!”

I’m lost. They nearly always lose me on Minecraft. “There are animals in the sink?”

Little A. runs in and looks in the sink, “What animals?”

S. rolls her eyes and huffs, “I told Mommy that the new Minecraft update lets you spawn baby animals in water and they won’t sink.”

Little A. says, “Awesome!”

Big A. said, “C’mon, Little A., time for school!”

I said, “Awesome!”

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