Thursday, June 14, 2012

Random Parental Wisdom

What are the things you tell yourself to get through the days and the stages and the messes? I saw a great one on a friend’s wall the other day: Cleaning with your kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.

Great, huh? Here are a few of mine.

If fifty percent of my decisions work out, I’ve had a good day.

If you stick to it long enough, you can accomplish anything—even working five minutes at time.

Embrace the filth; be one with the germs. The kids will hug, kiss, cough, sneeze, lick and wipe them all over you anyway.

When your child is two, aliens scoop their brains out. They replace most of them when your child is five.

The floor has a maximum mess level. Once you reach that, take your time cleaning. It can’t get worse.

Take credit for everything that goes well; you’ll get the blame for all the stuff that doesn’t.

Whatever is driving you nuts now, they won’t be doing by the time they get married.

The laws of physics do not apply in a house with kids:
Dirt, water, and food expand at an atomic level.
Time can move backwards or skip large chunks altogether.
If you say, “You’re going to fall”…then they won’t.

Never give a child a timeout for anything within a half hour of bedtime, aka parental freedom.

Avoid saying, “I will never______.” You are just asking the universe to force you to do that very thing.

So, seriously--I've shown you mine, now show me yours. What tidbits of wisdom have you tripped over as a parent?

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