Little A: Mom, I know why my fish game needs “C” batteries.
Mom: Why’s that?
Little A: ‘Cause it’s a SEA game!
S: I need my hairbrush.
Little A.: I need my hairbrush.
S: Stop it!
Little A: Stop it!
S: Will you stop copying me?
Little A: Will you stop coffee-ing me?
Little A: I have a joke.
Little A: What did the peach say to the watermelon?
Mom: I don’t know. What?
Little A: Actually, I have another joke.
S: If you take out his middle initial, Little A.’s initials spell ‘AC.’ Like—‘Ack!!!’
Mom: What did you do on the playground today?
Little A: (enthusiastically) My friends and I played the Potty Game!
Mom: (cautiously) What’s the Potty Game?
Little A: (beaming) Some of us are pee-pee and some of us are poopies…
Mom bites lip, waits for it in dread.
Little A: And we go to the top of the twisty slide and pretend we’re going down the pipes!
Mom breathes again.
[In the interests of full disclosure, his teacher did encourage the children to keep the potty words for the bathroom. They’re now playing ants going down the pipes.]