Wednesday, February 1, 2012

How To Tell If You're Tired (By Mom Standards)

It takes five tries to right wright rite type that title correctly.

You try the car door; it’s locked. You dig through your purse (no keys). Wondering why you’re standing there, you try the car door again, remember you need keys, start to look in your purse, then realize you just did. You pause, puzzled, until the toddler pulls on your jacket, rattling the keys in your pocket.

It’s too much effort to make coffee.

You are listening to someone on the phone, giving them your undivided attention, and you suddenly realize you have to ask them to repeat everything because your brain had a 404 Error and you Did. Not. Hear.One.Word.

You can actually fall asleep with a forty pound four-year-old crawling all over top of you to “tuck you in.”

You spend twenty minutes tracking down the dog because, even though you KNEW he would try to go after/chase/move in with the dog walking by, your hand just refused to follow orders and failed to frantically clutch the leash.

Your kids have given up making fun of you for inadvertently using the wrong word—it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

You proudly get the kids to their 4:00 gymnastics class ten minutes early, only to realize that they’re actually five minutes late for their 3:45 class.

You can’t sit down because you’ll fall asleep…

* * * * *

Okay, friends, I heard you--my blog is a lot more fun when I'm on vacation. But let's face it, I myself am a lot more fun when I'm on vacation! Pay me lots of money and I promise to devote myself to vacationing and, therefore, writing fun blog posts. Or maybe hook me up with a corporate sponsor?

No? Well, I guess it's back to writing what I know!

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